translator note: Yumeno Kyuusaku is a somewhat well known Japanese author, and has had his works made into movies, etc. This is not related to manga per sey, and as such I would hope you will treat it as you would a more serious english literary work than a comic book. Although the page layout is...hm...chic? *laughs* shall we say, that's because this work was recommended to my by a drag queen. His name is Margarett, and I talked to him a couple of times during my adventures through Nichome...actually, I sometimes got the sense he and the other drag queens were kind of looking out for me while I was there. Perhaps they didn't want me to get in trouble and cause a police incident, but even if that was the only reason, they're still wonderful people.
At any rate, we were just acquaintances, but I think he and Rachel D'Amour had more of an influence on me than anyone else I've ever met. About breaking down boundaries, respect, social responsibility, human relationships...in one word that's actually two, "a lot." Plus they're just cool. And so I suppose if this translation is any good, it was sort of done out of belief in what I learned from them, and from anyone else who might have been involved in whatever happened to me that year. So, as weird as it sounds, since people usually have those silly dedications to people no one's ever heard of, I'll be traditional and dedicate this to them in the case that it is, indeed, good. If it sucks....well, then I did it in honor of Gakimizu (a horrible, lemon flavored Japanese drink from 1997 that no one liked). And with that, enjoy!

~Faith (2006.05.30)

(pg 1-15)

It's nothing really.

Brother Shirataka Hidemaro

Utsuki Rihei

The other day I, at the Kouboku meeting of the Marunouchi fraternity, for a short while had the pleasure of receiving recognition, and, much like my elder brother, was accepted into the Kyuushuu Imperial University and am now a student at the otolaryngological institution. I am the person who, from some time in the beginning of June last year, in the Eigth year of Shouwa, have been placing up the neon sign of Usuki Otolaryngology in Kanasaki City of the present Yokohama Prefecture. Please forgive me the impoliteness of sending you such an outrageous letter with such abruptness.
Himekusa Yuriko has comitted suiside.
As in accordance with her name, she was a girl in form lovely and pure, and cursed our names as she commited the act. And due to the unfounded delisions that began to float up in her chest, tiny as that of a dove, for our houshold we must, with the expectation that we have been incorporated within the materials that constitute that heaven of lies , straight to the Mitsu newsprint, police headquarters, and even as far as the Kanagawa administraion of justice, that on the contrary it was she, who wrote into being that hell scroll of menacing notions the kind at which one ought to tremble with fear, who was at last forced to confined her own person to oblivion within the depths of that Hell Scroll of her own creation. We must thrust the existance of that scroll, with endorcement of our own deaths, and ourselves into the so-called eigth hell of Buddhism, that place of perpetual terror and fear...
To imagine the fearsomness of her strange mental workings which pulse through the insides of her ficticious creations, appearing not but the continuation of seemingly ordinary, trifling affairs. I now hold the abnormal responsibility of confronting you with an explaination of her attachment to those mental acts, dissecting them, and analysing them. But that extremely difficult and bizarre responsibility had been thrust upon my shoulders one afternoon by an as of yet unknown person, with little thought to the matter.
And because of that I hope you shall allow me to begin this special report in with the semblance of an order, with an explaination of that mysterious person.

The time was about one in the afternoon, Japan.

Worn out from surgical operations on critically ill meningitis patents, I had lain down upon the couch of the empty outpatient examining room and, while listening to the steam whistles in the Yokohama Bay from behind the glass window pane mixed with the noise of the traffic from the road below, was just drifting off to sleep when the bell in the entrance way suddenly rang and a single man's black shadow silently slipped into view. I sprang up and found it to belong to a man with an appearance like that of a detective straight out of a foreign movie. Perhaps he was around 44 or 45 in age. His face was long and his eyebrows dark and thick, with a dignified nose to the sides of which two long, deeply set eyes were sunken in and flashing with a deep black gleam; in short, he had the air of one you might call a Japanese-made Sherlock Holmes. His skin was also of a darkened color much like mine and he had a slim but large boned body covered in a smartly creased black cloth coat, a brand new black velour hat, and similarly colored black enamel shoes, with a silver snakewood-like visage and manner completely devoid of any sort of chink or speck to break through. Once he had softly closed the door to the examination room with a backward motion of his hand, he stood facing forward while with one eye surveying the inside of the room and me, its only occupant, and then courteously removed his hat to reveal a cleaverly hidden bald spot right at the top of his head, which he then bowed down to me.

Still somewhat dazed, I thought this character to be a new patient, and thus started in a manner according the usual civilities.
"Please, come in," I said and brought forth a smaller sized Jackovian chair.
"My name is Usuki."

But the gentleman whom I had addressed remained standing as before like some sort of cold, black silhouette.

He uttered not a single word, and simply turned his eyes a bit with a facial expression that seemed to say, "Surely you understand." Eventually he reached a hand into the inner pocket of his jacket and, upon scouting out a single, card shaped, scrap of paper, placed it on the nearby card table and pushed it in my direction, all the while stealing fleeting, expressive glances at my contenence. While I found this humorous, thinking that on top of everything a deaf-mute patient had come, I took up the scrap of paper in my hands, and, much to my surprise, found written upon it in clear, pencilled characters like those of a rather unskilled grade school student, the words, "Do you know the whereabouts of Yuriko Himekusa?"

I stood dumbfounded and raised my eyes to the man's face. I imagined him to be around 5'8" or 5'9".
"....hahaa...I really have no idea. She left without a word....," I immediately replied, but at that instant I had the sudden notion that this man was her black curtain, and that he had somehow or other come to threaten me. And so I hastily made the resolution from within my gut that he could go fuck himself. Still, I showed no indication of that on my face, and simply feigned the blank look of an ordinary practitioner.....I was glad I did not know of her whereabouts. For I had the notion that if I had, and had said so, I would soon be imposed upon and coerced such as it were.

The other gentleman fixed my face in the gaze of his black, cold, vindictive eyes for a good ten seconds, but then at length once more pulled out another single white envelope from his inner jacket pocket and placed it before me with much respect.
"Please look at this," his faint smile seemed to say.

The contents of the white envelope were written on commonplace stationary, but the characters were unmistakably those of Yuriko Himekusa, and the way that they were blurred over here, unnaturally wavering there, was somehow ghastly to behold.

To Doctor Shitora and Doctor Usuki,

I shall be comitting suiside. As to not place any burden upon the two of you, I shall be doing it in the sickroom of Doctor Mandala at the Tsuiji no Mandala Hospital. I will make it appear that I died of a diptheria-induced heart attack while hospitalized for uterary disease, and thus leave the pocessing of the affair in the hands of Doctor Mandala.
Doctor Shiratora and Doctor Usuki, though I may die, I shall not forget the affection that you have shown me, nor shall I forget my gratitude towards your wives who, though I received that affection, treated me not with hatred, but with much the same kindness that they would a younger sister. And so I will be committing suide in this secret manner as an expression of my desire to show at least some small part of gratitude for the sublime favor your wives imparted upon me. May my small spirit everlastingly protect the harmony of your homes.
Were it that I had controlled my breath, and were it that I had closed my eyes and been silent, then all of the things that I have until now seen and heard would vanish into lies without a trance, and I imagine that my doctors would be able to live in peace and protect the tranquility of their families. with their virtuous, beautiful wives.
Sinful, sinful I am.
Yuriko Himekusa had lost all desire for this world.
For what kind of hope could exist in this world where even men of your own renown and excellent status will not believe what I say as the truth?
For in this world and society where the words of those who have presteige and high status, even if lies, become truth, and the words of a maiden who knows nothing, even if truth, become lies. what point to living could there be?
Farewell.
With this shall poor little Yuriko die.
Please do not worry anymore.

The 8th year of Shouwa, December 3rd.

Yuriko Himekusa


I straight away sent a copy of that original letter to the Tamiya thought control police chief, and then made one more in anticipation of receiving your discernment on the matter, but as I read it for the first time I was able to avoid feeling any emotion for the matter. And, as before, met the sharp gaze of my companion with a blank, stupified face, and while staring calmly back asked a question of him.

"I see...and I assume you are the Doctor Mandala of this letter...."
"That I am."
He spoke of the first time. It was a low, powerful voice.
"Have you already disposed of the body?"
"I've cremated it and am holding the ashes for safekeeping...it's been three days since she died after all."
"Is this in accordance with Yuriko's expected procedure?"
"It's an effect."
"And how did she kill herself?"
"With a morphine injection. I don't know how she got it though...."

At this he looked at my face as if searching for somethings, but I remained resolutely expressionless and upright as before.
The light in Director Mandala's eyes then softened.
His slightly twisted lips began to part slightly.

"Last month....on the 21st of November...Miss Himekusa had a pretty bad case of endometritis and was hospitalized at my place, but soon she also had dyptheria, which she seemed to have caught from outside somewhere. And then just when I thought she'd recovered from it....."
"Was she seen by a otolaryngologist?"
"No. For a dytheria injection, she'll be hospitalized even if there is no otolaryngologist."
"I see...."
"And when I really did think that she'd gotten over it, on the third day of this month, it seems she injected herself after we took her temperature at a little past midnight, On the fourth....two days ago, in the morning, one of the nurses discovered her body growing cold among the sheets...."
"And there were no attendants or anything?"
"She herself said she didn't need one and so......"
"Indeed......"
"She was made up perfectly, with rouge and lipstick and everything, and when you looked at her you wouldn't think her a rigid cadavar but....she was even smiling as she did when she was alive. It really was an atrocious feeling. We found this letter beneath her pillow...."
"Was an autopsy performed?"
"No."
"And why was that? Isn't autopsy part of a medical practitioner's law?"
The doctor quietly fixed his gaze upon my eyes. And then he laughed with the cold laugh of a true villian.
"Had we done an autopsy, then there would have been the horror of having this letter's contents made public. Consider this the warm friendship of someone in the same trade."
"I see. Thank you. And so you then believe what she has said I imagine?"
"I don't think a woman that beautiful would die without reason. There must have been something quite large........" "So in other words, you believe that Doctor Shiratora and myself made a toy of Yuriko Himekusa, and afterwards cruely threw her away and caused her to commit suiside.....you....."
"...well the fact is that regardless, you've now become a wanted man, haven't you. And I didn't want to aggrivate the matter further so...."
"Are you her relative?"
"No. I have no relation to her whatsoever, but...."
"Ahaha. If that is so, then you are like me a victom of this matter. You've been deceived by Miss Himekusa, and have yourself transgressed the medical practitioner's laws."

At this, the man's face suddenly changed ominously and became like that of a demon.

"There's no doubt in it......that evidence......"
"Is it really evidence? If I call the other victim in the matter, it is something that can quickly be confirmed."
"Please do. There's no doubt....this is desecration of a dead person's last wish, no crime, no retribution."
"So it's alright if I call him then?"
".....you must....immediately."

I picked up the desk phone and called the Kanagawa government board, and was connected to the section cheif of the thought control police.

"Ah, Hello, is this the section chief of the Tamiya thought control police? This is Usuki. From the Usuki Clinic. A few days ago I heard of Himekusa's case, yes, thank you......I know this is sudden but.....yes, I'm sorry to disturb you, I know you must be terribly busy, but I implore you to come to the hospital right away. I've discovered the whereabouts of Yuriko Himekusa....no, she's dead. It's been dealt with....actually, another of her victims has come forth...oh, no, this time it's the person himself. The damage seems pretty serious. He says he's the head of the Tsuiji no Mandala Hospital......yes, yes, that's right....no, I've never heard of the place before....this time she put on a first-class drama and he came to explain that he had violated the medical practitioner's law and to expressly to deal with me it seems. He says he's keeping her ashes for safekeeping but....yes, that's right. Outrageous as it sounds, it's the truth. Yes, he's waiting here now. He told me I had to bring it to your attention.....ah. Hello.....hello?.....oh, Doctor Mandala's heading home now. He's taking his hat and stick and leaving looking rather confused. Haha. He's gone already. Right now a gallant nurse is breaking into a run to see him off. Please wait a minute. I'll ascertain the direction and report back to you....oh. What's he wearing? In one word a black coat. Height around 5'8", 5'9." He's dark skinned, and a rather splended gentleman from the looks of it, somewhat foreign looking...oh. He's forgotten the coercion letter. Haha. It seems he's been surprised by this telephone call. Hahaha......oh, really? Well then please stop by on the way back. I'll call again then. Oh no, I'm sorry to have bothered you....yes, thank you. Goodbye."

It seems that, though the Tamiya police chief arranged for a quick search the Mandala director was not found, and until the day came to an end, there was no news of the matter. Consequentially, I wonder what kind of relation her boyfriend had to her, and what kind of person he was. And why did he have her testament letter for that matter? Since when had her shadow sunk into his heart, and to what degree did he carry out those dark activities? I still haven't the ability to guess at the truth of the matter.
But it appears that the Tamiya thought control police chief, who stopped by the hospital on his way home from the Kanagawa office and heard the new facts concerning my old sponsor, Yuriko Himekusa, has some expectations of a non-so easily resolved affair, and has the intention of notifying the Tokyo authorities immediately, and so I think that the real facts concerning her death will become clear before long. I still felt that I must take responsibility for the matter and immediately report the entirety of facts to you for reference on some later date, and so with the resolution to forgo sleep this night do I write the preceedings. To this point have been nothing but exceedingly embarrassing matters, and thus did I hesitate to report them to you...well...I suppose I expect my inability to even arrange an appointement with you until now is due to that mysterious young girl, and to how I image myself to have been bewitched by her wonderous abilities into a stupor of the mind....