music: tsubaki / lyrics: Hime

Like a doll with broken legs
The meaning in my life is dead and so...

[Will I be throw away?]
[I'm going to be thrown out!]

ashi ga chigireta ningyou mitai ni
boko ni [imi] nado nai kara
[boku wa suterareru?] [boku wa suterareta!]

Helpless thing I am, in weakness so acute
At length I'll lose even my voice too
Swallowed by the nothingness
made from colors too glimmering and bright

boku wa muryoku de amari ni yowaku
yagate koe sura denaku naru
azayaka sugiru genshoku na kyomu ni nomikomarete

But still I've always been drawn forth
by vestiges of your face
And still deep with my ears there lingers
Laughing at me, your voice

ima mo zutto menkyou ni hikizurarete
mimi no oku boku o warau koe ga suru

My eyes feel as if they'll be smashed in
By the overwhelming clearness of the sky
It's sickness turned to dispair

[There's nothing left me now!]
[There's nothing anymore!]

akaresugita sora de me ga tsuburesou
sore wa zetsubou ni itaru yamai
[boku wa mou dame da!] [boku wa mou dame da!]

Everything in uneasiness, I feel I will go strange...
My fingers continue trembling with no end
As the past swaying deep within my memories
begins to rot away...

subete ga fuan de okashiku narisou
yubi no furue ga tomaranai
kioku no soko de yurameku kako ga mushibatte yuku

But still I've always been drawn forth
by vestiges of your face
And still deep within my ears there lingers
Laughing at me, your voice

ima mo zutto menkyou ni hikizurarete
mimi no oku boku o warau koe ga suru

Yes, so you can laugh I've been in sickness and in pain
I don't need this body anymore

The thing that can continue the pain
is the sound of your voice
As I continue to deny the truth...

sou, anata ga warau you ni boku wa yande ite
mou, kono karada nante iranai

mada itami tsuzukeru no wa anata no koe
boku wa genjitsu o kobamitsuzukete

When I was in Japan...it was...hard ~(-_-)
For those who haven't lived there, I don't imagine you would possibly know what it feels like to be alone and cold in a small apartment on the outskirts of Tokyo, not able to turn on the heat because it costs so much there...no internet...it, it was hard (light laughter) There was this little cafe in Shinjuku with bad tea but warm lights, and I would go there, or to karaoke when I didn't want to go home. I think I ended up going every day..? And I'm hoping to go back...? That says something, huh.

Anyway...to deal with everything I would picture myself in a marble. Like an "I don't need anything or anyone" kind of mentality. But it didn't work...and so I made myself a signature/lyrics/what you may (originally in Japanese)

The me enclosed in my marble never thought...
The swirling flicks of color
Could possibly be so cold...

There's more, but I think that says everything. This is the first time I read these lyrics, but they remind me of that.
...would have liked a pet. But then it would be cold too...

And I didn't have a trash can. So it would starve.
I still can't believe I found that (accident!! I swear!!!)