Yesterday, for mother's day, my mother wanted to go see "Silent Hill" for the third time...so we did. It was very good. And on top of that, since most mothers don't particularly want to go see gamer movies for mothers day, the theater was almost completely empty! But after seeing the movie I realized a few things, one of which is that I'm not going to be good at living alone. Not only because I do stupid things, like missing my train, getting angry, and walking the tracks in the middle of winter and ending up in the middle of nowhere...jumping around and falling on my face and bleeding all over everything...losing my sneaker under something in my room and having a nervous breakdown (it was okay)...but because I love scary movies and watch them, and then am afraid to do anything after dark for a week later. I wrote a comic about it, actually.

The Tale of Dorky

Well, at any rate, all of this does connect to Silent Hill. Because the message in Silent Hill was quite obviously:

There are things going on all around you, in you, in others, but you delude yourself with prejudice and tell yourselves you are right to hate that which you cannot explain simply because you are afraid. This causes hatred and weakness, mindlessness, pain...

What kind of world is that to live in, to perpetuate? One where innocent people have to take the blame for other's stupidity...now, avoiding the obvious religous overtones to the movie, it made me realize something. I have decided I simply don't need anything that is more trouble than it is worth. This includes many things...

One of them is discrimination against others for inherently physical things (see? I told you this would all connect~!) I often have people thinking that I am a very big supporter of gay and lesbian rights...well, that's wrong now, isn't it? (laughs) I let them live their lives as they please; if that's support, then I suppose I am a supporter. But it doesn't mean I agree with being homo...because, when you think about it, what's the real difference between being gay and being straight? It's simply substituting one prejudice for another. But that also doesn't mean I'm not going to respect someone or become friends with them because of that. It's really none of my business in the end.

I often have people thinking I'm a gay man online, interestingly enough, and although it's amusing it's also a little weird, and not just because I'm female. It's because I don't have a sexuality. I'm not straight or gay, or even bi or ningen banare or any of that because...well, as I said, it's a bother. So I don't need it. I don't need my body either. So there (laughs)

I've never been on a date even. But I like to think that some day, when and if I find someone I do want to go on a date with, that their body will not matter to me. This isn't to say that I'm not extremely picky aesthetically though~big people scare me...I don't like that hair color with that skin tone...that person has fat hands...wrong eye color...lips...nose...face shape...build...smile...atmosphere...
That's probably also part of the reason I've not been in a relationship, hmmm (jibaku)
But!...even all of those things would cease to matter if I found someone I really loved. And above everything else, the atmosphere surrounding the person really does matter! Picky as I am, I don't think I could be so intrugued by some guy I found jumping around nichome of all places in a mask if it wasn't a large factor
...to itte mo, ne...(laughs) Well, at any rate, that's why I don't understand people who like dolls in that way. A doll's really just a body, and a body is just a body, not a person, and as I already said, I don't really think it's all that important anyway...

I guess when it really comes down to it, the only requirements I would have for someone were that they be kind, competent in whatever they do for a living, independent, good at video games (I love the plots, graphics, and music but I suck at beating them >_<), warm in the winter, okay with my pets, and not mind having my giant barbie cut outs and stuffed animals and action figures lying all over the place. I also suppose some sort of art propensity would be a plus. And he'd probably have to be someone who would write me a loveletter like this:

http://kawaiworld.com/flash/tegami/tegami.html

equivalent translation:

I wrote my bride a letter...
It said...
pbttthhh

...(laughs) it's harder to find than you think.

That aside, Silent Hill is a good movie. Needlessly gorey and a little random nudity (my mom said the nurses were fanservice for the guys, but I can't image who the heck would be turned on by that...), but they did a good job of blending the filming, lighting, and shots to create a game like reality. The plot isn't the best, but it's definitely not bad considering it's a rendition from a game concept. Plus the soundtrack went well with everything else too.

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