Alonzo and the Meatball
2006.04.14
 
 

Once apon a time there was an office full of people. There were men people and women people, and old people and young people, and people who composed symphonies by banging on boxes and people who could talk for hours about colored napkins matching their kitchen towels. In short, there was many different kinds of people.

And then there was one particular person who came to that office every week and picked up the mail. His name, was Alonzo.

Now Alonzo could best be described, if described at all, as an hornery balloon man (at least that's how the story goes). He was a portly man who looked strangely like an Italian pastry chef, and he was a man who liked to eat. Anything that was left out in the office when Alonzo came, be it a lunch or leftovers, was sure to be gone by the time he left. And thus did all learn not to leave their personal nourishment in accessible places when Alonzo came to call.

Now one day, at the office, something terrible happened. Mr. Boggles, the manager of the office, had just sat down to arrange a meeting with an airline representative when his employee, Gina, knocked solemnly on his door. "I need to tell you something," she said.

Mr. Boggles was thrown off by her grave tone of voice and became terribly worried. He told her to come and sit down and then, expecting the worst, asked her to tell him what was wrong. So Gina, in her gravity, began a story of deepest terror.

"Today," she said, "someone took my meatball."

The manager looked at her, dumbfounded.

"I had pasta. And on that pasta was 1 meatball. And it was in the refrigerator all nicely wrapped up and now it's gone. I think we need to have a company meeting."

The branch manager knew just what to do. He took a piece of paper, taped it to the kitchen door, and wrote in big, black letters "Do not take Gina's meatballs."

Word travelled quickly around the office, and.....

....all of the guys thought it was hillarious. Lolz Tina's meatball.
....all of the women were horrified.

And a week later, Alonzo came to pick up the mail and said he'd eaten it because he was hungry. And all the menfolk thought it was hillarious, and all the womenfolk were horrified.

The End.

This was a true story passed on to me from my boss, and is now one I pass on to you. Why, you ask?
Because it makes you think; "Men and women really are different, aren't they?"

I failed the test and lol'ed at Tina's Meatball, obviously. But it still brings up a good point.

Women and men are probably different. And somehow women usually are stereotyped as being more emotional and irrational but....

the real emotional ones are men!

This is something I've been thinking about for quite some time now. For example, they get upset if you don't pay attention to them, or if you pay attention to someone else, even if it's for a friendly chat. They get mad at you for not replying to their emails when you've not been home that day. And when you explain these things to a woman they will usually understand, but a man seems strangely incapable of separating his emotions from a problem and seeing it logically.

Perhaps there is one instance that really pushed this home recently, involving an aquaintance of mine. He's rather gay, and so one day he said something to the extent of, "a lot of girls have been talking to me lately. I'm not happy about that."

So I stopped talking to him. And then, when he joked that I was avoiding him I said I was, and now he's upset. But if he stood back and thought about it for a while, I think he'd realize that I'm only doing what he told me to....

I don't get guys. They're easier to understand, I feel, but understanding doesn't necessarily mean you "get" them. And that's my realization for the day. Anthropology tends to make people forget the real differences inherent in how people are wired, and sometimes it takes a good dose of reality to undo what's already been inflicted upon the student. Reality is a good thing to have I think.

 


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