I love Doraemon. In fact, when I went to karaoke with my friends, I would sing the Doraemon theme, and it would be so horrible that they would roll on the floor in pain and agony and dispair and...and I was victorious. TheEnd.

...actually that was not the end. For when you go to karaoke, it is neither elegant nor proper to try to kill your friends with your singing, no matter what you may have seen on Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch (which I myself have not seen). But today I was thinking of my favorite Doraemon flash, and one thing lead to the next, and eventually I decide this time I might briefly explain a certain two pictures in my gallery..

As stated, I cross dress. Sometimes I am naturally just male, but when I'm dressing specifically male I become what is known as Saitou Taroko, 25 year old middle schooler. I'm neither 25 nor in middle school though (laughs). So how did this come about? Well, it all began one sunny, hot, day in the beginning of June. I was sitting in my room in Kanagawa, probably at the computer playing Neopets or moping, when I received a text message in my cell phone from an aquaintance of mine.

"There's an event tonight at XXXXX, a club, and if you wear a costume you get $5 off, and a free drink if it's Hawaiian! It's probably too late, and you said you're tired of events, and so I'm assuming you won't want to come but...."

I looked at the screen for a few seconds, dumbfounded, before pressing the buttons in rapidly sucession.

"Yes! Of course I want to go! I've been wanting to go to one of these since I got to Japan -_- Oh, but what should I wear? Lolita, gothic....gakuran? Can I wear a gakuran?" (school boy uniform)

Well, it turns out he not only liked the idea of a gakuran, but he was also friends with a lady who had received a middle school one as a present a short while ago. The original owner had decided to give it to her for free upon learning from said aquaintance that she had a fondness for them. I had cross dressed before then, and so I did my make up, put on my Yon Pe wig (laughs...it suited me well...now hush), and headed out to Shinjuku, where I met with him and he handed me the gakuran.

On close inspection there was a name written upon the pocket: "Saitou." Apparently that had been the last name of the original owner, who was at the moment secluded in the countryside studying for college exams, and too young to come to the event besides (sketch? yah~). There were also certain objects in the pocket...so maybe he was a bit of a perverted boy as well. Still, despite all that the gakuran had a nice feel to it, and I decided I liked Saitou-kun whoever he may be. In fact, there was something strangely romantic about wearing someone else's old school uniform. I tried pressing my aquaintance for more information as to the boy's identity, but he seemed uninterested in the subject and didn't say much more than he already had, and would only tell me that the more country hick I looked the better.

Well, to make a long story short, he seemed to keep forgetting I wasn't 24, and so I took the name from the pocket and decided I was from then on to be known as "Saitou-kun, 24 year old middle schooler" when I cross dressed. And oddly enough, as I did this, I noticed certain characteristics coming out more strongly in myself. Thus did Saitou-kun eventually he become a tentitive actual personality. He is the kind of person who would make up dances to cartoon songs, but then get mad if you tried to get him to do them in public. Moreover, he doesn't much like public places, so if you made him go out to a restaraunt with you, he is the kind of person who becomes belligerant and makes you order just because he doesn't want to. Then he mopes. He also liks wrestling programs and collecting action figures and...and somehow, I think he ended up being a little based on a characture my idol, didn't he? (laughs) Well, at any rate, it wasn't me becoming someone else, just me being more of myself than I normally am in some aspects of my personality.

I wore the gakuran a few times, and after that it grew on my for some strange reason, and so I started wearing it even when I wasn't cross dressing. Like, I'd just hop on the train dressed normally, only I'd be wearing the top as a jacket. I couldn't do it much though, since I was afraid of damaging it and it was a borrowed item (that aside, it really was too large. I'm about the size of a small, middle school Japanese boy, and this was medium).

Looking back on it all I wonder what the Japanese thought about having a little foreign girl skipping around in a middle school boy's uniform singing The Peanuts (laughs...ooold time Japanese band) But then, perhaps that's one of those things best left unwondered.

But this isn't really the point I'm trying to make with my writing. I think, after all that I've said here, this all comes down to the issue of gender and physical discrimination based on sex type...
I don't beleive in it. Instead, I tend to think of the world in terms of thousands of brilliant colors, all flitting about. These colors are different types of people, male, female, bright, dark, happy, sad, old, young. They are you at the same time that they are something much greater than you, and all you have to do is reach out and take one to become it. The only reason some people cannot catch or see certain colors is that they have limited themselves into not seeing them. And so that is how I can see myself as any of these things, but at the same time know that deep down I am still me.
...I hope that wasn't too strange...orz
This will actually be relevant in a little while, and is connected to lolita.

Now I suppose if you read up to here you're thinking "picture?"

No (laughs)

There's nothing wrong with them. I just don't feel like putting them up at the moment. Please understand.

For the record, this is the symbol on the pocket of the gakuran. If anyone recognizes the school it is from, please let me know. I don't expect anyone to, so if you don't it's all right (naturally), but I might as well try...

 

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