Lord of Underworld Gets Hair Stuck in Ceiling Fan

Faith Shinri staff reporter

Today at 5:00 am someone declared for Mana, owner of the Moi Meme Moitie clothing brand, that he will have to shut down Hell for the day.

"Well, it appears I have gotten my hair caught in one of my new additions, the ceiling fans of gothy doom," begins Juka, one of the Hellspawn and Mana's personal communication slave. Apparently Mana, worried that his clothing would burn, had taken precaution and installed the fans to avoid searing his favorite garment. The garment in question is a retro-plaid cape from the early seventies. No one is sure where this came from, but Japanese experts agree that it is most likely the only one of its kind. This makes the possibility of interbreeding impossible for the clothing, according to Doctor of Biology Oba.

"Mana's fear is completely justified," he informs us. "Once that thing's gone, it's gone."

When pressed, Juka tearfully explained the situation. "I don't really know how it happened; we didn't have ceiling fans back in 17th century France." He proceeded to sniffle dejectedly. Mana is meanwhile reported to have sat beside him and stared at our reporter in an unaffectedly creepy, cross eyed nature.

The fateful event was most likely caused by a combination of Mana's foot tall platform shoes and three foot tall hair. Added to his natural height of 5'8" this totals 9'8", the height of an average ceiling. The detangling should commence in mid afternoon and be completed roughly 10 minutes later.

~Mana also wishes it communicated that he has a new product out, the "ring of tremble darkness." Rumor has it that this is actually a $.25 peice of costume jewerly procured from a vending machine in downtown Tokyo, which simply did not fit him correctly. When questioned, Mana pretended not to understand language. The ring and fan can be purchased at the Marui One Moi Meme Moitie for 50,000 yen and 120,000 yen, respectively~

May, 08, 2004