Mana Declared New Lord of the Underworld

Faith Shinri staff reporter

Today at 5:00 am someone declared for Mana, owner of the Moi Meme Moitie clothing brand, that he has been newly bestowed with the title of "Lord of the Underworld." The old Lord of the Underworld, Satan, has announced his resignation from the post at a recent press conference at the Diet.

"It's just too hot, man, you know? I'm thinking of starting a new career. Maybe I'll go to Hokkaidou, raise some cows. People don't appreciate my work here but they sure do appreciate a nice cow once and a while. Besides, this new guy, he's got a really nice game called 'Bat to the Hell.' I think he's gonna be the real deal."

Gothic Lolitas all over the country are celebrating with a nationwide teaparty. But not all lolita are happy for their idol. Muses one Lolita, "won't the flames damage is dresses? I think that's why Satan's always wearin' a loincloth in pictures..."

Mana assures us that he has already dealt with this problem and has no intentions of wearing a loincloth. Ever. He also says he does not like cows. No further comments are available at this time.

May 1, 2004