Teen Pop Sensation Gackt Shows Bears Who's Boss
Faith Shinri staff reporter
Events took a turn for the worst yesterday when an unsuspecting groups of boy scouts was almost killed by bears in the Ueno zoo at about 10:30 last night. The startling event occured when the troop, unable to find any trees in central Tokyo, was forced to set up camp in the bear cage.
"Well," explains leader Mr. Yamada, " I had promised the parents we were going camping. Only the camping money might have been used up on sake the night before." He stops to scratch his head. "Well....how do I say it? We looked for someplace in downtown Tokyo to set up camp, but there were no trees. You can't go camping without trees. Then one of the boys said, 'hey, don't they have trees at the zoo?' It sounded like a pretty good idea to me."
According to local policemen, the group arrived at the zoo at 10:00 with a lot of camping equiptment. When asked why he did not question them, the policeman responded, "It had nothing to do with me. I mean, I don't even know those people."
After a brief stop over at the rest rooms the boys headed out to the bear cage and pitched tent. Mr. Yamada admitted that the had apprehensions about climbing over the 15 foot tall barbed wire fence at first, but these were soon overcome when the boys started calling him chicken. "I'm not a chicken," he reveals.
The first sign of trouble came when the boys had finished setting up camp and broken out the fried squid balls.
Young Hiiroyuuki gives us an account of the event. "We were roasting them over the campfire when this baby bear walks over. Like, we told it to go away, and I guess it's mom didn't like that too much cause she charged us." Was he scared? Hiiro-kun looks up briefly from his gameboy.
"Yeah, I guess."
Apparently the bear was rushing towards the boys when popular singer, Gackt, showed up and saved the day.
"I was walking in the zoo at night for inspiration when I thought it might be nice to try wrestling a bear. I'd never done that before...so I headed over the the bear cage. That was when I saw the bear charging the kids. I don't know what came over me; suddenly a voice in my head said 'get in there and start dancing.' And so I did. The voice is usually right. I think it's Mana's."
As Gackt started dancing, said the boys, the bear stopped dead in its tracks. It started at him for a few moments and then wandered back to its cave.
"At first I thought he was doing an ancient bear calming rite," said Mr. Yamada, "but then I realized he was just dancing, or seizuring, or something. We were all pretty scared, but I think the bear'd had enough first."
After that the group sat down to their roasted squid balls and invited Gackt to join them, but he replied that squid balls made a really strange squishing sound and he would have to decline. Prime Minister Koizumi is trying to find a holiday to declare for him as we speak.
April 22, 2004