Doll

 
 

I spent time up in the castle turret, in my previously unfinished state.
The memory of the sins I commited has already faded away.
Wandering lost amidst the forest, turning here and there,
I was finally dragged by my golden hair and trapped in a rocky prison.
Day by day this dream comes to me. So this dream must have been true.

Watakushi wa mae no nama de wa, () no naka de sugoshita no desu. Donna tsumi o okashita ka wa shirimasenu.
Mori no naka o samayoi, nigemawari, saigo ni wa kiniro no kami o hikizurare, ishi ni tojikomeraremashita.
Mainichi mainichi sonna yume o miru no desu. Dakara hontou no hanashi na no desu.

I was born in a furnace, I was made from steel.
I have no soul, and these things they call friends, I do not understand.
The people whom I call my father, my mother, I do not understand.
But there is one thing.
Only when I am cut, only when I see the red blood flow, can I return to being human.

Watakushi wa, youkouro de hagame to tomo ni umareta no desu.
Watakushi ni wa tamashi ga naku, kyoushitsu no otomodachi no iu koto ga, yoku wakarimasen.
chichi yah aha to nanoru mono no iu koto mo, yoku wakarimasen.
tada hitotsu.
jibun no karada ni kizu o tsuketa toki, akai chi ga nagareru no o mita toki dake, hito ni kaeru koto ga dekiru no desu.

I have no emotions.
They are not important to me, so one day I burned them all away.
I will chose a master and become his servant, kneel before him, be abused and whipped, despised;
this is how I want to live.

Watakushi ni wa kanjou to iu mono ga arimasen.
Kanjou to iu mono wa watakushi ni totte, hitsuyou no nai mono dakara, aru hi yakisutete shimatta no desu.
watakushi wa aruji o hitori to kime sono kata no shimobe to shite, hizamazuki, batou sare muchi o uke, iyashimerarenagara, ikite ikitai no desu.

These are important to us.
Amethyst crystal eyes
Cast in shadows by long, dark lashes.
Perfectly crimson lips.
Undershorts to protect our chastity.
To correct our bodies, a corset.
Like a vase of roses,
Dresses with layers and layers of frills.
Bandages for the deeper wounds.
Books, where these delusions were born. Sadism…*
A cute little inhuman doll.
A candle and a candlestick.
They point their fingers and laugh, with many people,
Those who love me merely a little.
Trifled with, the stiff jointed dolls.
Teddy bears from which chips fly out.
And only one thing with which to gaze through to reality, a mirror.

Watakushi tachi ga, hitsuyou to hoshi suru mono wa.
Murasaki suishou no medama.
Hitomi ni () o otosu hodo no, nagaku kuroi matsuge.
Masa ni shinku no kuchibiru.
Teisou o mamoru tame no shitabaki.
Karada o kyousei saseru tame no, koruseto.
Bara no kadai no gotoku,
ikue ni mo kasanari o motsu furiru doresu.
Yori fukai kizu o umidasu, houtai.
mousou o umidasaseru, shomotsu. Perou, sado, pataiyu nado.
ai rashii taiji no okimono. Rousoku to shokudai.
watakushi o yubi sashi aza warau, ooku no hitobito to,
Honno sukoshi no watakushi o ai suru hitobito.
Moteasobareru, maarui kan() o motsu oningyou.
kikuzu no tobidata teddy bear.
tada hitotsu no shinjitsu o mitsumeru tame no, kagami.

Some day even we may fall in love.
And at that time, maybe we will become human.
But until then, we must unfold
This world full of faults.

itsu ka kono watakushitachi mo, koi o suru deshou.
Soushite sono toki, watakushitachi wa, hito ni naru no deshou.
Sore made ni, watakushitachi wa, sei ippai () no sekai o
Hirogenakute wa naranai no desu.

But these dreaming young girls, until they greet the day they must grow up,
Are a little like those from a picture book…

Kore wa yume o miru shojo ga, sono hi o mukaeru made no,
Honno hito toki no emonogatari na no desu kara…


* These words were in French, and I am no good at decyphering japanized french words. Since one of them is sadism I'm just assuming the rest are the same manner of words...

This isn't as weird as it might seem, actually. Much of the stuff in the glub is meant to be read as a sort of story book in itself, so I don't think he's actually suggesting this is what lolita's should be like. It's just a story; a nice, happy, twisted story.

 


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~Translation by Faith, 2002. No reproduction of any materials on this site~